I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
