So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
