I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
