Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
