they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
