So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
