drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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