ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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