Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
