My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
