these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Boobs are out for the taking
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
