3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
