I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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