Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.

Fav 13 5333 1007
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(218): View more from Minnesota

i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me

Fav 19 1675 5569
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...

Fav 5 2781 1076
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.

Fav 7 3529 1110
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(812): View more from Indiana

You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.

Fav 3 953 2292
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM

Fav 17 1822 803
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.

Fav 7 1151 546
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(206): View more from Washington

We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.

Fav 0 88 11
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