Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
