I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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