i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
