The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
