apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
