The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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