By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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