You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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