So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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