Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
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We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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