Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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