if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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