You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
