If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
