I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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