I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
