I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
