i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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