dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
