Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
