My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
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last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
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She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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