I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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