well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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