You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Randomize
