No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
