I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
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