new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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