Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize