speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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