Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Randomize
