drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
