She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
