when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
