Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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