so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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