New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
