my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
