i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
