I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
