I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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