The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
