we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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