idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my mouth tastes like poor choices
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So many bounce houses so little time
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
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