just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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