they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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