You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
