super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
