The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
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i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
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I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.