i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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