It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
