i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
