I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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