Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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