Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Gay?
German.
Pity.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
