A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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