Heybabeimwearingurpanties
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
