no. you can't hotbox the world.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
