there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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