how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize